We need one another's help in staying together.

Christians need to be held together. Cohesion is important for every local church. It does not glorify God when Christians hop from one church to the next. "Restless" Christians never get to know one another well enough to obey God in what He wants from Christians when they get together.

While there are some individual expressions of the Togethers that Hold Together, only groups of Christians can give God what He has truly requested in the eight commands listed in this section. There are no countries with a population of one. The same is true of heaven. Meetings, unity, peace, humility, harmony, mercy, and compassion only have meaning in plurality.

The TOGETHERS THAT HOLD TOGETHER include:

Live as Citizens of Heaven, as Foreign Ambassadors on Assignment [14]

Meet Together Regularly [15]

Live Together in Unity [16]

Live Together in Peace [17]

Be Humble with One Another [18]

Live Together in Harmony [19]

Show Mercy and Be Compassionate With One Another [20]

Meet One Another's Needs [21]

The Christians of Central Church know that Earth is not their real home, so they live radically different lives. Not only do they own fewer things than the average person, but they deal with each other's sins in a loving way. Being harshly judged for a mistake doesn't happen at Central. Church members always remember that they are, first of all, citizens of heaven in the kingdom of God. Their values are just plain different than most of the citizens in their town. Central Church members are not out for themselves; quite the contrary, they support one another. [14]

All members of Central Church are strongly encouraged to regularly meet together to implement all that the Lord asks of His church. Most members not only come to Sunday services, but they are in small groups that meet for at least two hours a week. [15]

The Christians of Central Church identify with one another rather than with the citizens of their community. In larger fellowship gatherings church members are unified through their commitment to Jesus Christ. You can often hear them saying things like, "I want that success for you," or "We must do something about that," or "I'm that way too. I don't do what I should in that kind of situation. Why don't we work on success together and pray for each other?" In the small groups, where individual differences are more obvious, Central Church members remember their identity with one another. They do not let individual viewpoints separate them from feeling close to one another or keep them from remembering they are on the same team for the same cause. [16]

Christians of Central Church keep the peace of the faith. They do not let individual differences develop into arguments. Everyone is watching out for explosive situations. Whenever a disagreement heats up, there is likely to be another church member around who will intervene and give a reminder that a lack of quarreling and peacefulness is vital to the success of the church and its work for God. [17]

The pastors and leaders of Central have taught humility to their congregation by example. Pastor Jack even admits his own shortcomings and sins from the pulpit! As a result, when Central Church members meet together in congregational fellowship or small group community, everyone is accepting and humble. Aware of their own sinfulness, the Christians of Central do not have to hide from one another. They do not pretend to be righteous, interact superficially, or avoid being genuine with each other. They are unimpressed with their self-importance and do not put on airs because they are aware of, accept, and are thankful for Christ's provision on the cross. They actively but humbly go assertively about the Lord's business, depending on Him for all results. [18]

Because they de-emphasize individualistic Christianity, the people of Central Church think in terms of teams. They always ponder how each of them can add something to the effort. Harmonizing with each other in the work of the Lord is uppermost in their thinking. Individual glory is seen as inferior. And so they are continually pointing out each other's strengths and value to ministry. They go about their community in unison, like well-tuned chamber orchestras. Living together and working for God in harmony with each other is a thrill the people of Central Church would not give up. [19]

What strikes the visitor to Central Church is the overabundance of unconditional love. The genuine relationships members have with each other in congregational fellowship and small group community have led to strong cohesion and a feeling of heavenly safety. The people give

undeserved love and unmerited favor to each other. Such mercy characterizes their relationships and functions. They are humble and do not judge one another so that everyone can count on receiving mercy and compassion whenever needed. [20]

People take care of people at Central Church. The larger fellowship has an adequate pantry for the physical needs of members. Under the guidance of the deacons, the congregation even has a storeroom of crutches, wheelchairs, walkers and other medical supplies. Emotional needs are

cared for in the small groups. Church leaders direct anyone with such a need to a group if they are not already a member of a small group community. For example, single parents in the church are asked to join groups made up of a mixture of married couples, single-never-been-marrieds, older singles, and seniors. Because they have been clearly taught, the small groups know through the chain of leadership that it is their job to see that the children of the single parent have substitute "aunts," "uncles," and "grandparents". Each small group gives their single parent a weekend off at least once a month, taking care of the children in their homes. Even the pastor's needs are met at Central Church and his burdens lightened. [21]

Rarely does a member of Central Church think of leaving or switching to another church. Members are fulfilled by biblical fellowship and community, and identify with one another. They are used to peace and harmony. They realize they are much more like each other than like nonbelievers. They are comfortable because of the Church's humility and are well taken care of

physically and emotionally. They are thrilled to receive more love and compassion than they deserve. To consider leaving Central would be a strange absurdity. They have implemented "The Togethers That Hold Together" and their church is cohesive. Being so close knit together allows them to do wonderful things for the Lord Jesus Christ.

Phil 3:20; Heb 11:13-16; **1 Peter 1:17**

Live as aliens on a mission to this ungodly planet. Have values, desires and ways of dealing with people that are radically different from those of the world.

Christians no longer belong to this world. Earth is no longer their true home; their citizenship is in heaven. Living as citizens of heaven together means that the whole congregation or small group is "in the world, but not of it." We are actually aliens and strangers on a mission to this ungodly planet. As such, our desires and our relationships are to be radically different from human society. Taking hold of the kingdom of God together, we will appear like foreigners in the midst of "earthlings". We will be most unlike other humans in the way we deal with one another's sin.

God has given us citizenship in heaven so that in community we can live as foreigners to the cultures of Earth. When we do so, we worship God by reflecting back to Him, however imperfectly, his own holiness wherein He is entirely separate from evil yet omnipresent.

True Christian community is inherently not of this world if it is characterized by obedience to the instructions of the Bible regarding inter-dependent relationships among believers. It is in the small community group that Christians can challenge its members and itself as a whole to live differently as citizens of heaven. In successful and obedient small groups, secular values such as materialism will be challenged and values more in line with citizenship in heaven will be adopted and lived out. Christians should closely identify with their small community group. The small group should feel like home, especially morally. All the other small groups a Christian might belong to, such as at places of employment, should feel "foreign.

There have always been small clusters of people of different nationalities in America's largest cities. These groups lived in the larger city but did not give up any distinctive qualities of their native culture. Christians should hold onto their identity and live in the community in a distinctively different way (as, say, the Jamaicans do in New York City).

Because we are citizens of heaven, in congregational fellowship we should hold to kingdom values. The ways of the world are not the ways of the church. If the church looks socially similar to an athletic club or country club, something is wrong. The obedient congregation will guard against imitating the world or being drawn into its culture. On the other hand, congregations should not overemphasize being different from the world. For example, how many young men were alienated from the church because of the issue of long hair in the 60's and 70's? At a great cost, "clean cut" conformity to the church sub-culture was often given a higher priority than loving acceptance. The church should work on being obedient to God's commands for Christians when they are together. That in itself will make the church seem strikingly different.

1. How do the citizens of heaven live differently than the most religious citizens of the planet? Should the society of heaven look much different than the societies of the world’s most ardent religions?

2. Imagine that you were aliens from a different planet, staying here for a little while instead of making this your new home. How would you think about life down here on earth? How would your mission be foremost in your minds? What are the implications for the adopted citizens of heaven on their short sojourn on this their birth planet?

3. The citizens of our planet have this present life as the best they will ever have. After death it becomes worse. The citizens of heaven, however, are now experiencing the worst life they will ever face. After death it becomes really, really good. What effects should this truth have on the lifestyle of the citizens of heaven?

1. Look around the group and tell each person their most alien feature, meaning the thing that stands out most about their lifestyle as a citizen of heaven.

2. Confess to one another how you feel about those who are only citizens of Earth.

Acts 2:46; Rom 16:5; **Heb 10:25**

In order for God to do with us what He wants, we must be together often - in various configurations, but always with love for one another.

Christians are commanded to be active in congregational fellowship and small group community. Only by meeting together can we carry out God's many commands to the church.

God has given us the privilege to worship Him by meeting in community. When we do so, we worship God by reflecting back to Him in a limited yet valuable way the continual fellowship of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, the three persons of our one God.

Regarding meeting together regularly in small group community, small groups should meet every week for at least two hours or every other week for at least three hours. It is very difficult to achieve Biblical community by meeting briefly or any less often.

Churches are generally doing well in meeting as congregations on a regular basis. Most churches have at least one or two meetings a week. If Christians are enmeshed in small group community, then attending a congregational meeting once a week could be considered to be a minimum requirement.

1. How many formal church services and gatherings should each of you attend each week? Is it a legalistic rule or is there freedom of choice?

2. What are the disadvantages of television church? Although it is the only thing possible for some, for those who can attend a "live" church service, can the television service do as much and be obedient to the instruction of Hebrews 10:25?

3. Tell each other how many informal gatherings of Christians you have each week. Does real Christian community take place, or do those friendship impromptu meetings look like those of any secular meetings of friends?

1. Tell each other how you feel inside before going to various church meetings and activities. Try to be honest after assuring one another of confidentiality. Pray for each person who struggles to look forward to such meetings. Give ideas how each of these persons can take the initiative to change their negative experience in Christian gatherings.

2. Review with one another each person’s schedule of Christian meetings and activities. Then just give opinions to each person whether or not they are "light" or "heavy" on Christian meetings.

Ps 133:1; **John 17:23**; Rom 15:5-6; Eph 4:3

Make your identity in Christ the central issue that holds you together.

We know that the unity of Christians is at the very heart's desire of our Lord Jesus Christ. He repeated His request for unity among believers three times in His agony and prayer at Gethsemane just before He went to His crucifixion. Christians are not to be divided.

God has given us wisdom to live in community in unity. When we do so, we worship God by reflecting back to Him the oneness of the three persons of the Godhead.

Christians gathered in small group community not only are unified by their identity in Christ, but also by their group purpose. If their reason to be together is to meet in order to obey the Scriptures regarding Christian relationships, unity will be generally assured. Anything that threatens the unity of the small group should be eliminated by a consensus agreement to prioritize the group's purpose and goals.

Christians in a unified congregation will remember that their identity together is as Christians. Distinctions such as level of wealth or power are relatively unimportant when compared to this common identity in Christ. Church leaders and members should constantly be on guard to those things that could damage this common unity in Christ.

Challenges to unity can come from the world, for example, when people in a church are ardent fans of two opposing football teams. But being fans is harmless as long as Christian identity has priority. Football bumper stickers or styles of clothing are not a threat to Christian unity if church members are otherwise faithful to the church, especially in implementing the Togethers of Scripture.

As congregations, we must be particularly wary of activities or beliefs which can break the unity of the body of believers. Potential divisions must be identified early and defeated. Christians within the congregation who group together for things other than worship and service must be careful not to develop their identity with others who agree with some minor doctrine or "good belief." We identity together as Christians because we belong to Christ, not because we do or do not home school our children, prefer one pastor over another, or like a certain style of Christian music, to name three things that could potentially threaten unity.

1. What are the things that can get in the way of unity in your church(es)?

2. What are the things that can get in the way of unity between Christians of different denominations? How can this be minimized?

3. How unified should all Christians be, considering the differences between charismatics and non-charismatics, between different preferences in worship styles, etc.

1. Decide whether or not there is any disunity in your small group.

2. Group members tell the group of situations of disunity that they are close enough to that they might be able to do something to effect unity. The group helps those individuals develop plans to do some things to bring unity to those situations identified.

2 Cor 13:11; **1 Thess 5:13**; 2 Tim 2:23-24

Christians are commanded to live peacefully together and not to quarrel with one another. Unity is too important to allow it. In order to live in peace, we must avoid making issues out of everything. We are to solve problems instead of quarreling.

God has given us eternal security that we might live in community in peace. When we live peacefully together, we worship God by reflecting His tranquility as well as by recognizing that He is the true giver of peace.

People who develop close ties, which should occur in a small Christian group, must agree that it's okay to disagree. God's Word forbids the peacefulness of the community to be broken because of quarrels over small issues. The most dangerous thing in the small group is when people begin choosing sides. Once that mentality has set in it is difficult to eliminate. The small group should make a rule for itself that taking sides is prohibited.

Have you ever noticed how a group of friends can incorporate two people who don't especially like one another and overcome the tension just through the power of doing things together? It is the same in the church. Whenever a church becomes aware of a quarrel, other Christians who are friends of both parties should get involved in finding solutions. Sometimes the solution is as simple as doing something together such as fishing or camping. Surrounding quarreling parties with loving fellowship can often resolve the conflict. Church leaders should become involved when conflicts or quarrels are not so easily eliminated.

1. What are the best ways to stop arguing with another Christian once the argument ensues?

2. What are ways to sidestep a foolish argument?

3. What are things that are foolish for Christians to argue about? What are the things that must be argued about within the boundaries of peace?

1. Identify a few argumentative situations in which group members are presently involved inside or outside of the group. Or brainstorm a few good hypothetical situations. Then apply the following formula to seek a way to bring peace to these situations: (1) assess the various needs of each person involved in the argument and then (2) try to find a solution that meets everyone’s needs.

2. Identify the things that could bring quarrels and a breakdown of peace in your own small group community. Agree with one another to not allow the peace of the fellowship to be broken over these different views. Decide how you will handle these potential troublesome disagreements.

Prov 18:12; Prov 22:4; Zeph 2:3; Matt 11:29; Matt 18:1-4; Luke 14:11; Luke 18:14; Rom 12:3-16; Eph 4:2; **Phil 2:3-4**; Phil 2:5-8; James 3:13; 1 Peter 5:5-7

Practice humility and eliminate pride in your fellowship. Consider others more important than yourself, even though everyone is equal in Christ. Remember constantly your dependence upon God for anything, even your skills, health and assignments.

Especially when together, Christians are to practice humility. This means eliminating pride because haughty pride makes others feel less important in the body of Christ. Those people who tend toward pride must be identified and helped toward humility.

God has given us wisdom to be humble with one another in community. When we do so, we worship God by reflecting back to Him that He is the only truly good being and that He is the One who makes us good. Knowing together our own helplessness and dependence upon God reflects back to God by contrast his own self-sufficiency.

One of the biggest threats to small group success is lack of humility in its members. People who lack humility are usually hard to be around. The small group community is particularly capable of encouraging, teaching and enforcing humility within its own ranks. As we are instructed in Philippians 2:3-4, everyone in the group should learn to treat others as more important than themselves.

The obedient church is one where members and leaders watch out for the good of the whole fellowship. Because haughty pride makes others feel less important in the body of Christ, those people who tend toward pride must be identified and helped toward humility.

The example of humility, along with its remarkable ability to admit sin and imperfection, should be set by the pastor. Other church leaders and every member should follow the example. Large groups can do other things to make sure humility is emphasized. For example, after preaching a sermon on making time to serve others, the pastor could ask people to raise their hands for prayer if they have had difficulty with obedience to the biblical standard. The more courageous church would actually allow people to stand and request prayer to be more faithful in any area of Christian behavior - this would be a humble church.

1. Humility is not thinking higher of oneself than you ought. How can Christians grow in becoming more and more humble without developing false humility or degrading themselves?

2. How can Christians help one another become more and more humble without tearing one another down?

1. Members tell the group those people to whom they feel superior. Since everyone struggles with prejudice, or with judging that they are better than some other group of people, members tell the group those about whom they are prejudiced. The group should then analyze the level of pride and offer suggestions toward developing humility.

2. In your group, practice humility by affirming all the other group members in the strengths God has given them for His own glory. One group member at a time should go around the circle telling each other member how he or she is more able then they are. If anyone defaces himself or herself, the group should counsel them not to do such.

Rom 12:16; **1 Peter 3:8**

Work harmoniously with the other believers in your small group and church. Fit into your part on the team; Christianity is not an individual pursuit.

Christ is the Conductor, and the church is His orchestra. We are to work together harmoniously in all that we do. Working together as a team creates a beautiful melody for Jesus Christ.

God has given us power in community to live together in harmony. When we live harmoniously, we worship by imitating that perfect harmony and teamwork of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

The skillful small group leader will make sure that more than one person responds to a service project, a verse under consideration, a shared idea, or a group member's problem. Since Jesus sent people out two by two, the small group will realize that two are far better than one and the whole group is immeasurably better than two.

So much emphasis has been placed on the individual that it seems strange to think that a contribution offered by only one person in the small group community is less than adequate. Nonetheless, it's true. Living together in harmony in the small group means everyone plays a part in implementing the commands of Scripture for Christians in fellowship.

One of the advantages of a larger group of Christians is that many teams can be designed to accomplish God's work based on strengths and weaknesses. For example, a choir has sopranos, tenors, basses and altos. They blend together as a team to accomplish the purpose of praising God in beautiful harmony. Similarly, a team of two or more people who have different strengths but who harmonize well together could be formed to teach Sunday school more effectively than any one of them could alone. Churches wanting to maximize the amount of work that gets done for the Lord should create a placement agency so people can be matched to teams where their gifts and talents can be most effectively used.

1. Without actually planning to do anything mentioned, brainstorm ministries that three or more group members could do. Choose those members who would make up the team for each of these ministries. Then identify how each person would harmonize with the others, each doing their own part in the ministry, emphasizing the teamwork or harmony that would result.

1. Examine your own group. How well do you harmonize in getting the work of the group done? Is everyone contributing harmoniously? Are most group members solo Christians? If not, then identify in recent meetings where group members contributed by asking others to contribute because of the other person’s greater skill or more common experience or possession of special knowledge. Who has asked others to share their view, not out of politeness but because it was actually needed? Differentiate how the group needs each person for their unique contributions. Be specific, identifying those contributions specifically.

Luke 6:35-36; Eph 4:32; **Col 3:12**; 1 Thess 5:15

Care for one another deeply, loving sincerely from the heart. Be generous with mercy — give unmerited and unconditional love.

We are to care for one another deeply, loving sincerely from the heart. Kindness and compassion are important marks of Christian fellowship. Since the going can be harsh in active Christian ministry on a fallen and hostile planet, Christians are to show mercy to one another. Mercy received from other Christians revitalizes; judgment of one another only increases fear, causing distrust and resentment.

God has given us power in community to show mercy and be compassionate to one another. When we do so, we worship God by reflecting back to Him his own mercy and compassion toward us sinners.

Love without judgment is one of the hallmarks of small group Christian community. Those in the small group who lack mercy can be easily admonished to look at God's mercy in light of their own sinfulness. Also, because of the openness of the small community group, Christians will soon learn that those who lack mercy toward others also lack mercy toward themselves. Out of compassion, the group will teach these people the mercy of God and free them from their prisons of judgment, anger, resentment and bitterness.

Churches that are merciful and compassionate know the members who are hurting, who have been mistreated, who are lonely and who are struggling to overcome grievous sins. These churches pray for their wounded and shower them with grace.

One way churches can obey this command for mercy and compassion is by having a fund to help those in their midst who are poor or struggling with financial disaster. Members can also respond to requests for help in the church bulletin. The merciful and compassionate church will give help when help is needed, regardless of the behavior of the needy persons. Those with the Holy Spirit's gift of mercy will be appointed tasks requiring compassion such as visiting the sick, comforting those who mourn, and reaching out in love to rebellious teenagers.

1. How is God merciful? Which of these ways are we to imitate? How do we do them?

2. Which are the groups of people in the church who need mercy and compassion? How should each of these groups be specifically shown mercy and compassion?

1. Identify how each person in the group is hurting. Show mercy and compassion in your response to their testimonies and then pray for each of them.

Rom 15:1-3; **2 Cor 9:12**; Phil 2:3-4; James 2:14-17; I John 3:17-18

Christians are to make sure that each other's basic needs are met. Basic needs include food, clothing and shelter. We all have many kinds of emotional and spiritual needs as well. Christ demands that we love one another as He loves us. We should see to it that everyone's needs are met.

God has given us provision in community to meet one another’s needs. When we do so, we worship God by reflecting back to Him his role as provider for his people.

If the small group does not hinder the identification of needs by limiting interaction to Bible study and prayer -- which significantly reduces the level of intimacy -- then the needs of members should easily become known. Sometimes these needs can be met by the small group. But, occasionally the small group will not have enough resources to meet the sorts of needs that come up. When that happens, needs can be met by referrals to other resources known by group members, especially the larger church of which the small group is a part. At other times the group will help indirectly. An example would be when one person is looking for a job and the whole group helps. Members might even set up job interviews or send out letters of introduction to people they know who might be able to hire the unemployed individual.

If the church were to fully meet God's ideal regarding the command to meet each other's needs, it would be necessary to dismantle the class structure that, unfortunately, now exists in the church world. Some churches have an overabundance of people in need. Other churches have designed themselves to be attractive to those with financial means, creating an environment in which a person of middle or low income would feel uncomfortable. Ideally, there should be no such segregation within the church of Jesus Christ. That would allow people with financial means in each congregation to take care of those with genuine material needs.

Even though this ideal cannot be met, each congregation must do its best to make sure that the basic material and non-material needs of each person are provided for. Therefore, it is necessary to establish a means by which the members' needs can be made known. One of the very best methods to keep track of needs is to have the church organized into small group communities where people are known closely enough so that needs are automatically identified. Another method is to have cards in the pew racks which people can use to explain a need. A regular visitation program that includes a frank discussion about the basic needs of each Christian (including the children and teenagers) can also ensure the congregation is fulfilling this command from our Lord.

1. Are you intimate enough with those in the group to know of real needs, especially monetary needs? Would you know if anyone was in real need regarding the critical things of life? Would you know if someone did not have money for a medical prescription for someone in their immediate family? Would you know if someone could not afford school supplies for their children?

2. Much of the first century church’s distinction was that they provided their members with proper burials. This was a big testimony to the non-Christians for whom it was a great disgrace to not be able to properly bury their family members. What are the minimum needs a church should guarantee to every member?

3. What are the options for group members who stumble across another Christian in dire need?

1. Check out each group member to make certain that his or her basic needs are met.

2. Check to see if any group member is isolated from other believers so as to not have the privilege of fulfilling this command of the Lord. Is each group member close enough to at least three others outside of the group to know if an urgent need is unmet?

Click here to go to the list of available reports.

www.hope2help.com