INTRODUCTION

Every church can use more workers and more leaders. Every Christian, as Jesus showed by the people he chose to be his disciples, can become productive leaders. But they must be led a very certain way. As Jesus also showed us, they must be led as a group rather than as individuals. It is mind-boggling how seldom Jesus talked to a single disciple compared to how often he addressed them as a group. Jesus knew that people grow and change in groups. They might become smart living in a cave as a hermit, but they do not grow in their abilities to love - that requires contact. Small groups, church committees, even the church board provide the context in which leaders are born.

The thing that influences the development of confidence and leadership in churches is the experience people have in the small groups they find themselves in, whether church committee, church board, or any of the myriad types of small groups available. Those experiences either communicate to them that they are capable of significantly serving the Lord or that they are not capable and need to be dependent upon leadership.

The reason the small group experience matters so much is that the church (two or more gathered in Christ's name) has so much power. When small groups are led in the manner with which Jesus led the disciples, group members are empowered. When small groups are led in the contemporary fashion of today's churches, group members are devitalized, enfeebled, disabled, and made dependent upon those few leaders who already have great internal confidence.

And, many individuals with solid confidence in themselves and in the Lord fail in leadership and drop out. This is because the work God wants the church to do requires the church to do it. One strong leader cannot get it done. The work of the church requires strong people dependent upon God to work together. Lone Rangers fall like flies. The strongest leaders can often become discouraged. However, taught what we consider the true, biblical pattern for small group leadership, these strong leaders can develop other strong leaders and get a lot, a really lot, done for the Lord.

People come into the church with little confidence, having met discouraging criticism much of their lives. It is God's plan that the church be His vehicle for these people to begin to believe they can make a difference. It matters greatly how the small groups and committees they join are run if they are going to grow in confidence.

The way committees, church boards and small groups of all kinds are led in a church either thwarts or promotes Christian service and leadership development. And the present style of leadership in the church is the kind that stifles confidence and thus works against volunteering for service and/or taking on leadership in the church. In this Report I will tell you how to lead groups - all sorts of them - so that leadership will be increased at least tenfold, probably much more than that.

In the way of getting your attention, let me tell you about David Under the Desk. This illustration of the power of a group should convince you that the church is functioning at about ten percent of its capacity.

David was autistic. He had not talked to anyone for over two years -- not to his parents, his teachers or to other children. He had been in various kinds of therapy without results for years. When he was referred to me for group therapy in the early 70's, he was eight years old.

At the time David was referred, I had a group for boys seven to nine years of age who were working together to solve various personal problems. These boys came from several different schools. For their ages, they were the worst behavioral problems in the school district.

One boy had recently improved so much he had been able to "graduate," so there was an opening in the group. Because I am professionally trained to help groups be successful, I did not automatically add David to the group. I first asked for the group's permission. Since the other boys had to do the work of helping David, they needed to want him in the group and agree to help him.

I told the group that I knew of another boy who needed their help and asked if they wanted to let him join them. I did not tell them anything about David, so they did not know that he was autistic. The group was feeling rather powerful because of the recent success of the boy who had just graduated. They knew they had helped him. Now they were ready to help someone else. They said they wanted David to join their group the next week.

The following week, the seven boys began their group without David. He had not arrived on time. Perhaps he was not going to show up at all. The group started out helping one of the boys with his bed wetting problem and his fear of his father. They were well into the discussion when the door to my office opened and David was brought in by our receptionist.

I walked over to David and invited him to join the boys in the circle. David just stood there for a few seconds, examining the office. He saw the seven boys sitting on chairs in the middle of the large room. He noticed the empty chair waiting for him. And he saw the boys talking with one another and glancing over at him.

Other than the chairs we were sitting on, there was only my desk in the spacious room. David looked fearfully at the situation and then walked over to my desk in the corner - and crawled under it, curling up where my legs and feet would go.

A few of the boys shrugged their shoulders and went back to the lively discussion they were having about scary fathers. The others soon turned their attention from my desk back to the discussion aimed at helping one of the boys overcome the embarrassing problem of wetting his bed. Since I did not want to control the group (and create crippling dependency), I focused my attention on helping them function as a healthy group. I waited to see when they would turn their attention to helping David.

In the next ten minutes, all of the boys, one by one, turned to look at the desk where David was hiding. That was my cue that the group had changed its focus. Since my job was to help the group when it got stuck, I noticed that the boys were trying to discuss one thing while their minds were on something else -- David under the desk. To help them focus their thoughts I said, "Looks like you guys are wondering about David under the desk." Simultaneously, three of the boys loudly exclaimed, "Yeah! What's he doing under the desk?"

To help them do their own thinking and learn to solve their own problems (and feel smart for a change), I merely replied, "Why do **you** think he is under the desk?" I didn't do the work for them. I gave the work back to the group. They were not surprised. I usually did nothing for them that they could do for themselves.

It didn't take long for these boys, with the most serious behavioral problems in school, to decide as a group that David was under the desk because he was afraid of people. The silence that followed told me that they were stuck again and needed my help to proceed. I asked them how they were going to help David. Immediately, Charles, the bully in the group, yelled out, "Let's drag him out of there and beat him up!"

As funny as we might find such an inappropriate comment, the boys didn't find it funny at all. In fact, a couple of the more timid boys turned pale. Looking at them, I asked if they could tell Charles what the look on their faces meant. But they were too intimidated by the group bully to say anything. Looking at the others, I asked if anyone could help them out.

One of the physically stronger boys commented that to hurt David would only make him more afraid of people. The bully quickly denied this, saying, "No it won't! I beat people up at school all the time, and they're my friends after that."

Again the boys were verbally silent, but quite expressive in their body language. After looking at one another a few times, a number of them explained to Charles that those he beat up were not his friends. They were just afraid of him. Charles replied that they were friends because they smiled at him. The group explained that the kids merely smiled to keep him from beating them up -- they were definitely not his friends. Charles went suddenly silent and thoughtful. (Although Charles did not say anything more about it, three weeks later the school reported that all of his bullying behavior had stopped.)

Soon the group returned to the topic of how to help David, still silent and hiding under the desk. In time, with a great deal of back-and-forth discussion, they decided upon a plan, a plan that was far superior to any I could think of.

This group of seven, eight and nine-year-old boys, all with serious behavioral problems, all not Christians and without the Holy Spirit, decided that, one by one, they would join David under the desk at 30-second intervals. They told me to come last since I was the scariest. They strictly told each other not to talk to David or make him talk because it might scare him. They just wanted David to be better able to hear them at work and to know that they wanted him in their group.

When time was up for their hour-and-a-half session, the group adjourned. David was last to leave from under the desk. He silently joined his mother in the waiting room to go home.

The next week David did not arrive on time. As he had the week before, David arrived about ten minutes late. He opened the door quietly and surveyed the room. He came in timidly, walked to the circle, and sat in the empty chair. Then David, who had not talked to anyone in over two years, said, "Hi."

This true story of "David Under The Desk" is striking, but it is not unique. I could have also told you the true story of a group of men serving time at the military prison at Leavenworth, Kansas. They were being sexually harassed and would most certainly have been raped. Totally helpless and vulnerable as individuals, these men, by working as a group, found a way to stop homosexual rape in a major prison. And I could give you example after example of things men and women do in my therapy groups that would convincingly illustrate the incredible power of people working together when the group is led skillfully.

As I look at the church, I wonder how strong the army of God could become if we obeyed the scriptural commands for group behavior. I wonder what we could accomplish if we rediscovered the tremendous power of group action. If a group of small, troubled, unbelieving boys can be powerful enough to help an autistic child overcome his two year silence and fear of people in one week, in one one-and-a-half hour group meeting, what do you suppose the church could do?

When operating as God designed it, the church truly has the ability to change the world. So many of us seem to be worried about so many problems in secular society or in the church. That's because we have never seen the church operating at full capacity. It would be so great someday soon to hear outsiders saying, "The Christian Church is powerful -- like its leader Jesus Christ." If we start to live as God has designed us - in community -- nothing at all can stop the church. Even the gates of hell shall not prevail against her. We have the Lord's word on it!

What I propose to show in this Report is that a group properly run, especially the church board, whatever title it goes by, will build confidence, make every group or committee member feel like a useful and helpful member of the church, and encourage most members toward Christian leadership. The result will be more loving marriages, spiritual homes led by more confident heads of households, and a very easy recruitment system for acquiring church workers and leaders.

Fortunately, this empowerment model of small group leadership is not that difficult to do. Unfortunately, it is difficult to explain because most Christian leaders in local churches have learned some things that are just the opposite of what they need to do. So please bear with me as I attempt to summarize a model of leading groups and committees that is different, but that will lead to superior results.

I

TO EMPOWER PEOPLE YOU MUST LEAD GROUPS AS GROUPS, NOT COLLECTIONS OF INDIVIDUALS

You have already learned in Report SGL001 that leading individuals in a group setting does not accomplish things - it just destroys the power of the church. It creates dependency upon the leader. This in turn makes group members less confident, more passive, and eventually quite discouraged.

The general feeling is that group leadership is not much different from the leadership of individuals. That is a big mistake! Groups are completely different than individuals! True, they are made up of individuals. But that is precisely what makes groups different. They are made up of more than one individual.

An individual does not need to relate with himself or herself to be effective. But a group does need its members to interact and draw out the best from each and every member. And this is just one example of the many critical differences between a collection of people and an actual group. A group is essentially a gathering of people who have decided they need to work together to accomplish something they have decided is very important. Thus formed, such a group can best be understood if it is seen as a separate organism rather than merely a collection of individuals.

A genuine team will seldom develop if the leader centers his or her attention on individuals. A collection of people being herded in the same direction will not prosper and grow into the powerful force it could be for Jesus Christ as a true group.

If, on the other hand, a group leader leads the collection of people to become an authentic team, a strong society will develop that enables individual members to function and grow by leaps and bounds. Other small group leadership models stifle this by concentrating on the individuals. But if the Senior Pastor or committee head will focus on building the team, the group, the church council or committee, then surprising results will be accomplished.

The successful small group leader has the group in mind, talks to the group almost all of the time (only occasionally to individuals), analyzes how the group or committee or team is developing and what it needs to do next to go further, gives the group work to do, and helps with a host of other group-centered concerns. That is why Jesus discipled a group - together. If Jesus had discipled Matthew the tax collector and Simon the Zealot individually, the latter might have cut the former's throat. By placing them in a group, talking to them as members of the inner group of disciples, and giving them assignments to do together that were far more important than their differences, Jesus knew they would have to change for the better.

Look at three different ways of handling the situation of a very difficult problem in the church. In the first and usual approach, the Senior Pastor pre-thinks the situation and then gives out information. There follows limited discussion and eventually individual members state what they individually think. Almost all communication is between group leader and individuals, with only occasional "side comments" between group members.

The second approach adds group experiences that involves group members with one another for discussing the difficult situation the church faces. This is improvement over the first approach. At least group members are being used as more than an audience to conversations between the leader and individual group members. There might even be occasional disagreement; but it will rarely lead to a better solution, because it is still the individual opinion that counts most.

The third approach is the empowering model of small group leadership we teach at The Lamb's Bride Project. Here the Senior Pastor focuses on the group as the entity he or she is helping, not the individuals and not the difficult problem the church faces. He talks to the church board as a whole to see if they want to work together to solve the difficult problem in light of their group's purpose of running the church to glorify Jesus Christ. Once the group takes on the task, the leader's help is focused on the group and helping it do all the things necessary to solve the difficult situation.

In this third approach, with the help of the Senior Pastor, the church board itself would decide on the mode of discussion about the serious situation facing the church. The group would then take on the problem as their own. This would lead them to "roll up their sleeves" and assertively attack the problem rather than passively lend support to the Senior Pastor. The church council that had been led this way for a few months would draw out the strengths of each and every member. When a disagreement occurred, other members would not sit passively back depending upon the Senior Pastor's intervention. Instead, they would use the disagreement to bring out needed considerations, remind the combatants of their responsibility for Christian love during the conflict, see that any wounds were healed, support each of those disagreeing so that their positions were clearly stated, and a host of other healthy behaviors only possible by a maturing group. In other words, in this third approach, members get involved. They count. They produce. They try new things and gain in confidence and competence.

Can you see from this example that every one of the church board members would be growing in competence, confidence and leadership ability? Well the same is true of those on a Missions Committee. If the chairperson will follow the same leadership guidelines, all of the members will also grow in competence, confidence and leadership ability. If the Missions Committee Chairperson led the group to do the work of the committee rather than doing it himself or herself, a powerful team for missions would develop. And members who barely thought they could do much more than take notes at a meeting would soon be doing all sorts of things and beginning to feel significant and capable with a sense of accomplishment as a part of a team. This in turn will convert most of the members to more active servants in the church. Many would accept leadership assignments.

Are you thinking that the group leader, the Senior Pastor or the committee chairperson is not earning his or her "wages" fi the group does all this work? No, this third model of group leadership has plenty for the group leader to do. Leading the group, teaching the group, deciding how to give work to the group in a way that they will grow, and a thousand other primary concerns for the group (not its members or its tasks) will keep the group leader's mind quite busy. But his or her mouth might not be so active.

Let's list some of the more positive things that emanate from this third approach, the approach taught by the Lamb's Bride Project, things that would not frequently occur in either of the first two approaches. The group members would be acting like the church, not merely as individuals. The interdependence would lead to cohesion and solid relationships among members. The members would learn about each other and how to be of help. With the leader's focus on the group, the members will make decisions together, work together to accomplish the group purpose, resolve barriers that block progress, etc. Both the individuals AND the group will grow and become stronger and more capable.

And think of all the other benefits in the way of team building and growth as synergy develops. The members would experience the joy of the church when something is accomplished for the Lord by the group and it is impossible to identify a single primary contribution by a particular member. Members would learn how to draw out the strengths of all other members. Members would teach and counsel one another, bear with one another, forgive automatically, and the host of other things commanded in Scripture. No one would feel alone, and that would empower many of the members to take on greater and greater assignments for the Lord.

This empowering model of small group leadership expects a lot of a group and is very affirming. It is not the typical, "let's see how comfortable we can make the group experience." Instead, it is more like saying, "let's show the group members how much they can accomplish by working together as a group." Wouldn't you agree this is more appropriate for those who are leading the church on the church board or spearheading the church's missions efforts? Doesn't this model better fit our Lord's promise that the gates of Hades will not prevail against the church?

II

THE CHURCH BOARD, GROUP OR COMMITTEE MUST ADOPT A CLEARLY DEFINED, CRITICAL AND DOMINANT PURPOSE THAT GUIDES THE BEHAVIOR OF THE GROUP AND ITS MEMBERS

If the people in the room do not know they are a group with a critical purpose they have each committed to pursue, a team apart from each person's separate individual identity, then each person will focus on individual purposes only. Eventually, with no important group purpose to be sought, nothing critical that requires group effort to achieve, the group will fail.

When the members of a group do not know what is the group's purpose, their behavior will not be focused. What happens in the group will often become less and less satisfying and people will start dropping out of the group. They will often be confused as to the real reason for the group - which is all too often never decided.

On the other hand, when a group is led as a group, careful time is taken at the start to help the group adopt a purpose that is critically important to the group members. During this process, each group member has a chance to carefully consider the group and its purpose. The next step is deciding whether or not to join the group. By "joining" is meant true commitment. Jesus said that no one builds a house without considering the cost if such a house is to be successfully completed. In the same way, no one should be expected to join a group without considering the group's purpose and what will be required of membership.

A church board might adopt the purpose of running the church so that Jesus Christ is glorified. As each person joins the board, this purpose must be adopted for true membership. Since the purpose will guide the behavior of the group and its members, it must be clear, important, remembered, and acted upon. Everything the church board does should be relevant to reaching the purpose of running the church to glorify the Lord. The more this purpose is in the minds of the members, the more group effort will be channeled to that which will help the church to glorify God. Meetings that deteriorate into pleasant social gatherings full of jokes and laughter will not fit the purpose. If the purpose is taken seriously by conscious and conspicuous adoption, someone will challenge such a frivolous meeting. In the absence of a purpose, business might get done - but for what purpose? In many cases, just to maintain the organization. The church goes nowhere, and the church board doesn't understand why.

A Missions Committee might adopt a purpose of promoting missions among the congregation so that at least 80% of the members actively support missions in prayer and financial giving and so that one person a year commits to long-term missionary service. Such a purpose would be quite useful in guiding the behavior of the group and its members. When a proposal was brought to the committee, it could be easily decided based on its impact on the purpose of the committee.

One of the main advantages of a clear-cut, critical purpose is that it formalizes expectations. Without expectations people rarely produce. The expectations for results and obedience is communicated by the mere existence of a purpose and by periodic progress reviews. At least at the start, the purpose needs to be referred to often for the group and its members to keep focused. For example, the Senior Pastor could call the meeting to order with the statement, "Here we are again to continue running the church that the Lord Jesus Christ will be glorified. Let's pray to that effect." The Missions Committee Chairperson could begin similarly, "Glad to see you all are here to continue our work for the Lord in helping our church members become and stay committed to the proclamation of the gospel through prayer and giving. Would a few of you begin our meeting by praying for the committee's effectiveness in the next hour or so?"

A proper and effective purpose is a result, not an activity. It should be obvious that Bible study alone is not a sufficient purpose. Bible study to get to know God better and become more obedient to God is much more powerful because it is a true purpose. "To run the church" is a weak purpose for the church board or council. As long as bankruptcy is not declared, the board might think it is doing its job.

Without a significant purpose to guide functional behavior, any group will be dysfunctional. And without constructive behavior and rewarding accomplishment, the group becomes an activity rather than a means to a critical purpose and meaningful goals. People either drop out or continue meeting and get little done for the Lord.

III

THE LEADER MUST LET OTHER PEOPLE ACCOMPLISH THINGS AND LEAD DURING THE NORMAL PROCESS OF THE GROUP OR COMMITTEE MEETING. HE OR SHE MUST NOT DO ANYTHING THE GROUP OR ANY OF ITS MEMBERS CAN DO OR THE OPPORTUNITY TO DEVELOP LEADERS DISAPPEARS.

When you continually do things for people that they can do, you cripple them. This is quite harmful for groups and individuals. Almost all popular Christian models of small group leadership teach doing way too much for the group and its members. This covertly communicates that the group and its members are not able to do things that they most surely can do.

It is no wonder so many people in the local church do so little. Typical church leaders do the work rather than empower the groups they lead to do the work. They do not involve people in a group process where they get to decide what and how they want to do things, where they do their own thinking and help others succeed, or where they get to try new behaviors to see if they can serve the Lord a little more.

For example, imagine that the Senior Pastor is meeting with a group, possibly even a dysfunctional family. Someone on the church council or in the troubled family needs to be encouraged. Usually, the pastor will do the encouraging. Consider what would happen in each of these groups if the pastor said, "So-and-so seems to need encouragement. It would be good for the board (family) do this now." Followed by silence on the pastor's part, a whole lot would be accomplished that does not occur when the pastor does the encouraging. The church board would take responsibility for encouraging its members. Once taken on and learned, the church board members will be encouraging one another all during the week, not waiting for the meeting so that the pastor can do it. The dysfunctional family will become a little closer and more loving. Family members, even toddlers, will learn that they can encourage. Thus will begin a lifetime career of encouraging family members, and, hopefully, others as well. All this and more just from the pastor refusing to do what others can do.

Think about Jesus feeding the multitudes. He assigned all the work to the disciples. He only used his supernatural powers to do what the disciples could not do by their own hard work. They were told to get the people something to eat, to count what food was available, to pass out the food, and to collect what was left over. Jesus only did what they could not do: create food. Our Lord did this to build leaders. Soon he would be gone, and they just better be a strong group that could work together!

Take for example the situation where a group member is too talkative and pushy. Most models suggest that the leader take the person aside and talk to him or her about the unwelcome behavior. Not only does this subvert the Matthew 18 process, it takes away a very strengthening opportunity for the group.

Our empowering model of small group leadership teaches that the group as a whole should deal with the domineering member, that he or she is the GROUP'S problem. And so the group leader helps the group deal with the dysfunctional behavior instead of dealing with it himself or herself. The members and the group as a whole become more skillful. The group members will not only have to confront, but also learn to support and encourage in order to keep the person being corrected coming to group. Giving the group the problem is critical to the development of the group and its members in many ways. Most important is that the group can do the job a thousand times better than the leader. It has more resources, more talent, more synergy, more time, more energy, and so on.

Therefore, the successful small group leader is constantly vigilant to assure that he or she does not hold the group and its members back by doing things that they can do. He or she does not talk, direct, empathize, and a host of other things the group and its members can do better. The wise small group leader is constantly thinking about what the group needs to do to be a more dynamic group. He or she briefly models behavior only when no group member can model it, and teaches only what no group member or members can teach. And, if the group leader must model behavior or teach something, he or she expects the group and its members to do those things from that time on.

CONCLUSION

Any church that wants to train every possible church member for significant Christian service and leadership must be careful how it runs all of its small groups. Leaders of all groups must be taught to empower the group, and then to teach the group to empower its members. The Senior Pastor must lead the church board in such a way that it becomes a strong team with a critical purpose. He must avoid doing the thinking, feeling, deciding, emotional support, etc. if he wants his leaders to know how to work together to do these things far better than he alone can do. The church's committee chairpersons must also develop their committees into strong teams by developing purposes that are results and not merely activities. And they must learn to delegate to the group, not to individuals, letting the group delegate to individual members.

This will build the church and raise up more leaders and workers. The Lord made the promise of Philippians 1:6 to the church, not to individuals: "...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you (Greek plural) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." []